Commentary moves

Ben Edwards will be over at Brands doing A1GP next weekend, so BTCC viewers will be treated to John Hindhaugh once more. Simon Hill is also part of the A1 team, but ITV are again drafting in the surprisingly competent-at-the-microphone Rob Huff.

Following David Leslie's death, Eurosport have signed up fellow Scot and ex-BTCC champion John Cleland to partner Martin Haven. John rarely holds back on his views, so it'll be worth tuning in via Sky, cable or online to hear him, even if the racing isn't fantastic.

BTCC Drinking Game updated for 2008

Click here or on the link on the right for the 2008 BTCC drinking game. As ever it will be updated during the season (and most likely before round 1 if CMS and Xero enter!). Enjoy, but just remember the extended coverage hours means you might want to take it a bit easier... ;)

ITV presenters confirmed

Good news: Harvey and Edwards stay on as commentators.
Bad news: Ted Kravitz is back. Grr. Although he can't do Brands Hatch next weekend so we enjoy Steve Rider instead! There's a blast from the past. Joining them will be former Gladiator and winner of the 1995 "Miss Wessex" competition Janie Omorogbe. She has been doing the BSB coverage so I guess she knows the score.

New liveries #3

So farewell the familiar btcc.net numberplate; for 2008 it's all about ITV4. So hopefully no more moaners unable to find what channel the BTCC's on. Hopefully.

BTCC on TV 2008

We're hearing rumours it'll be ITV4 and not Setanta Sports who'll be showing all-day BTCC plus support race coverage for 2008. Good news if true...

ITV *hearts* BTCC once more

Fantastic just as at Brands, ITV will have extra coverage for Knockhill BTCC. With ITV4 now apparently starting broadcasting at lunchtimes at weekends (as opposed to 6pm weekdays) hopefully this arrangement can continue into 2008. It was great to enjoy bonus support race coverage on ITV4 from Brands and given the 2 hour slot again for Knockhill that should continue. It'll probably be those not-so-fun slicks'n'wings boys again, but fingers crossed for action from the SEATs and Legends!

TV recap: Croft (part 1)

TV Recap - BTCC Croft
1600, ITV3

And we're back with another nice slice of BTCC action over on ITV's third most popular channel. Hey - at least they've got rid of the ITV3 dog! Kravitz welcomes us faithful viewers to sunny Croft, the only visit to anywhere remotely resembling The North™ this season. Ted's sorted out his shirt this time, collars all tucked in present and correct. He still looks like a wannabe-Top Gear presenter though. Plato and Giovanardi are the guys to beat points-wise but it's Shedden on pole.

Apparently Jason grew up around here, so that means it's time for yet another Life With Plato featurette, hooray! And we even get a bit of ST footage with Coxy commentating. Louise is interviewing Jason on one of the grassy banks at Croft, both of them being extremely rude and ignoring whatever support is race going on behind. Plato waffles about ballast, how tight the championship is this year etc, while I realise it's a Clio race they're ignoring. Sacrilege!

...and speaking of Plato, we're on board with him for a lap around this "tight and twisty" Croft circuit. Tim uses the phrase "hard on" far too much for anyone's liking - at least four times on this lap. Not an image anyone wants in their head.

Louise, standing on the grid, tells is it's now over to Ben with the starting grid. That seemed a bit of an unnecessary link. Turkington's "fast-starting" (chug) BMW lines up second, could be the man to watch out for. Amazingly, Ben doesn't say "we're all set for Round 10" but instead "Round 10 is ready to roll!" Another missed drinking opportunity there.... but no time to ponder as we'reeeeee off! Turkington shoots into the lead as a few cars kick up the dust at turn 1. Some great onboard footage with Tom Chilton as he battles with some 2-year old SEATs. He missed Le Mans for this you know! Meanwhile Matt Neal "wheel to wheel" with Turkington but he can't get around... cool onboard with Neal, you can make out the disco-glitter on the side flashes. Lap 4 - big cloud of dust, apparently Erkut is off. Or maybe it's Pinkney, as we see a rather dented looking 156 grind to a half. Nice new colour scheme though, the pink sunstrip clashing horrendously with the new shade of red. Lovely. A reply reveals Erkut taking a spectacular ride through the gravel, with Pinkney then lining up a move on his inside. "Two into one doesn't go.." cries Tim, as the reply comes to an abrupt end, so I guess we'll never know what happened. Well that sucked.

Lap 5 - what is Turner's beef with Allison? Are SEAT paying Darren to take out the Motorbase cars so they don't embarrass the works guys? Whatever, remember at Thruxton Darren shunted Matt resulting in one re-shelled Toledo rqeuired, and now Turner knocks a couple of tyres onto the track and it's Allison who takes the full whack. Bummer. Narrowly avoids a big accident that man (video). Meanwhile Richard Marsh has whacked some tyres, and Murray''s car is cruising. So, the Alfas are as reliable in the BTCC as they are in real life. The OC and Allison pit, and still no safety cars despite debris and loose tyres everywhere... heck, they put a safety car out when there was a small speck on the track at Rockingham, some consistency people!

Lap 7 - the OC is back out of the pits, just ahead of Turkington. Hmm, I smell some team tactics afoot... he lets Colin through but isn't so kind to Matt. In fact, Matt gets impatient, nerfs Tom and Shedden hops up the 2nd. Neal will be "fuming" says Ben. The OC retires hurt and Louise gets a chat with him. The tyres are out on the circuit for "safety reasons" apparently, oh the irony... Turkington is pulling away nicely now, on course for BMW's first BTCC win since 1996: Ravalgia at the GP support race, remember him? As the race closes, it's actually quite dull, so dull that Tim and Ben discuss the technicalities of the success ballast system. However, Turkington takes the "dominant" win and the guys in (bright) orange are chuffed. Ted tells us to be right back after the break for even more...

Live BTCC online... not just yet...

Further to my previous post, the much anticipated live streaming of the ITV channels on ITV.com has yet to materialise, despite being promised during May. However, latest news suggests this coming wednesday is The Day™, and we'll see what it's like from then...

Live BTCC streaming ahoy?

Blimey - ITV in "do-something-good" shocker?

Turns out ITV.com is relaunching "within weeks" and will give visitors live streaming of ITV channels and a 30-day catchup. According to Media Guardian:

ITV programmes that are viewed as live simulcasts online will run with the same ads that are shown during broadcasts on its TV channels.

Programming that is viewed on demand through ITV.com's 30-day catch-up service will offer a wide range of advertising options and opportunities that will be fine-tuned based on customer preference.

Furthermore:

ITV is using what is known as Geo-IP blocking technology to make sure that international visitors to ITV.com do not access programming that has location-based rights restrictions for viewing.

Soooo... UK users should be able to watch ITV's BTCC coverage live on the interweb and "watch again" within 30 days, albeit with plenty of adverts abounding. No word on whether BTCC coverage falls under the umbrella of needing "location-based rights restrictions"; but a "friend" of this blogger claims such restrictions are not hard to "circumvent". Apparently.

TV Recap - BTCC Rockingham (pt 1)

It's BTCC time again, and whilst ITV1 viewers are treated to the "comedy" "film" King Ralph (in which most of the Royal Family die in a car accident resulting in their distant American relative taking to the throne with *hilarious* consequences) the BTCC is once again back on ITV3. Louise and the Kravitz are loitering in the Rock garages and remind us the previous round featured "plenty of contact", "impressive debuts" and "two different race winners". "It's never dull in the BTCC" entices Ted as we get the opening graphics.

And we're back to the Kravitz, who's standing in the middle of the "infamous" Turn 1 at Rockingham. Not quite sure why it's deserved that title, seeing as the BTCC hasn't actually used the full T1 before. Besides, I gather from SCSA and the like that it's Turn 4 that is more deserving of the "infamous" moniker. Anyhoo, I can't help but notice that Ted's shirt collar is tucked in on his left but sticking out on the right, yet another fashion faux pas...

The standings after round 3... the Kravitz mistakenly describes Jones as driving a BMW whilst running down the order. Sigh. Back to Kravitz (and his dodgy shirt) who tells of Plato as the star of the show three weeks previously. As such, we cut to what now appears to be ITV3's version of "Cribs" as Louise invites herself into Plato's home. Lots of trophies around but Jase's favourite is a hilarious ear-clip thingy saying "Bullshit Deflector". Oh Jase, you crack us up. We learn Jase's 3rd most important thing in his life is flying, "a really good way of spending a few quid". Nice to have the money! Anyways, we get some cheesy "Top Gun" stylee music, a close-up of Jase's shades and we're up up and away in his private plane. There's many similarities to flying and racing, Jase tells us. These include having to be "ahead of the game" (yes, but you're not likely to hit anything or punt anyone off IN THE AIR are you?) Louise ponders to Jase on how you take risks whilst racing, but you can't take risks in the plane. Jason replies in the affirmative making it absolutely clear his hands are NOT ON THE JOYSTICK! Talk about not taking risks!! We look down on Rockingham from above and Jason makes up some stuff about overtaking opportunities, even though it's pretty clear he'll just pass wherever. As usual.

Back to the Rock - the Kravitz tells us Plato's having to carry 45kg of success ballast as a result of leading the championship, "almost as much as carrying young Rachael [the grid girl] in the passenger seat". Young Rachael smiles to the camera but in her mind she's all like "Did he just call me fat? Did he just compare me to SLABS OF HEAVY METAL??" Before the Kravitz can get a slap we run down the grid for round 4. Eoin Murray has actually made it to the Sunday this weekend, and starts a very good 5th. In 15th is the new Luton chairman Pinkney. Luton themselves are lower than that in the Championship I fear. Adam Jones has no engine so won't start from the back. "Disaster!" for Turner the poleman whose engine has failed on the grid. The guy just won't get a break. Start attempt #2 - "We're all set" (chug) for the race start as Giovanardi rockets away. Murray gets a shocker, loses a handful of places at the start and then"gets done by Mat Jackson" (Harvey, euw!). All clean through T1 and T2 as Turkington "flies" through from the back of the grid. Lap 2 (although the graphics still say lap 1) - Jackson makes a move on the OC as Murray tries a cheeky move to get by the orange car as well. However, the Alfa just ends up swiping the Beemer resulting in a slightly more dented front end for Murray than before. The guy complains about being tight on budget and having no spares but it would probably help if you didn't DRIVE INTO the other competitors eh? Meanwhile Howell and Allison are having a good dice with the OC and Hughes.

Louise is stepping well into her role of "Bad Luck, XX" as she does in F1, as Turner explains what went wrong. Lap 7 - Jackson nerfs Neal into a slide but he holds it. Ben and Time pontificate how strong the Civic is compared to the old Integra. Some nice onboards with Jackson, but those floating heads still freak me out. Lap 11 - the RAC machines both attempt to biff past Murray as Leggate's MG is depositing oil on the track on the last chicane and onto the start/finish straight, sigh. Slight chaos as Gio and Plato have small excursions on the slippery stuff, but I can clearly see the marshals with the yellow/orange warning flag out so there's no excuse really. Marshals good, Leggate naughty. Still, it gives Chilton a chance to pass Plato, but the TV director instead shows us marshals being engulfed by Leggate's smoky MG. We get a replay though so I'll forgive him. Lap 13 - there's a whopping great hulk of debris just on the outside of turn 3 I think, but no safety car needed. I'll remember that. Lap 14 - the OC whacks Jackson who has trouble saving it as he's in that RWD machine. The RAC cars are still having it out with Murray; Harvey notes Murray wisely stayed away from any contact, but intones it as if that was a bad thing! Final lap - Gio and Chilton take a VXR 1-2. Turk and the OC eventually made it past Murray, although we don't see where or when! Louise invites us to rejoin after the break...

Ads - it's good to see the advertisers are really targeting the BTCC's key audience: adverts for bathrooms, washing machines, washing powder, toilet freshener, dishwasher cleaner and, er, Frosties. Really targeting those 18-35 males eh?

We're back to the Rock, and the Kravitz has sorted out his shirt! Hooray! Less importantly VXR got a 1-2 in the first race. Gio says "was a great race for all ze teams", "we had a problem with da hoil" and he was "like Oh My God". So his grammar and pronunciation are shocking but at least he can blaspheme perfectly well eh? Chilton tells us "oil is the WORST THING IN THE WORLD to hit". Nothing worse, apparently. The drivers give us their opinions of Rockingham (might have been better to have this *before* the first race?). Howell doesn't like the infield but chooses his words carefully. We're now onboard for a lap with Chilton who talks us through the circuit. Again, would have been better to have this before the races eh?
(tbc...)

TV Recap - BTCC Brands Hatch

Notes from ITV3's BTCC coverage 01/04/07 (yes I know I'm late)

Yay! BTCC returns, as does a happy 90 minutes schlomped in front of the telly... wait... this isn't the BTCC! WHO STOLE IT!! Ah yes, ITV3. Even though ITV1 is showing a drama more suited to ITV3 it's to channel 10 I must turn. Edgy Dunlop music plays, "Drivers Know" apparently. And who should we be greeted with but Ted "Lenny" Kravitz! And Louise Goodman too! Shame no VBH this year, Goodman reminds me too much of people's mums. VBH was more like your friend's hot sister, or at a stretch a particularly yummy mummy. "Welcome back to British Touring Cars" says she, as we move into a fast-paced intro.

Brands Hatch - starting the 50th season says Louise. And I know the championship only started in 1958 but it *is* the 50th season, so why not make a big deal out of it. As before, "extensive" highlights of the first two (I'll believe that when I see it), live coverage of the third. Now over to Ted with the runners and riders (what a daft phrase - we're not horse racing or sprinting here people).

Team Halfords - "unchanged" driver lineup (Howell's been erased like Eaves was before him then?), but "hello" to the Civic Type R. Even though it's just a Type S. Or possibly a regular Civic with a Type R engine. No one actually seems to know.

SEAT - Plato is back for a "fourth year" (did some ITV researcher have a mental block for the years between 1997 and 2001? Forgetting that he was the bloody CHAMPION in 2001? Arggh) and Turner has a full season ahead. Well, as full as he'll get when you take into account the amount of times he'll be punted off or have the Leon break down on him.

VX Racing - pushing the fact they "failed" to win a trophy last year. Chilton's hair and Chilton return, along with FabGio. New Vectra, and it looks fast, if a bit beaten by the ugly-stick.

Team RAC - brand new Beemer, Turkington back alongside Tom "The OC" Onslow-Cole. He looks like a bass player from some random indie band.

Mat Jackson and Jacksons MSport have another new BMW, Andy Priaulx's old motor from 2006. I know it's a family run-team and money's tight, but "MSport"? Would it really cost you that much to have "Motorsport" or "Racing" or something? MSport sounds like a b-side on Hanson's MmmBop. On another note Mat has a really square-looking head. I mean really square.

Even more RWD machines: Martyn Bell returns in his allaboutp******y.com (I'm not giving a daft team name that publicity dammit) BMW E46, Jim Pocklington has a similar motor, and Rick Kerry's diesel 1-series for AFM.

Motorbase - 2 SEAT Toledos for Howell and Allison. Allison's voice could get realllly annoying. Team Air Cool (eurch) have another for ex-Xero boy Jones.

Eoin Murray returns for a "full season" - let's hope lack of spares won't hinder his progress this year, hmm. Also in red cars we have Marsh and Pinkney's A-Tech outfit, and Leason and Stockton's BTC Lexuses looking rather nice.

And now to the ageing older BTC-spec cars: Jordan's Integra, race winner from least year. Kartworld running Hughes and Leggate on bio-ethanol (surely the heaviest and lightest drivers on the grid?). Simon Blanckley (allegedly sold his house to pay for his racing) has another Integra. Erkut Kiziliriririrmak runs for Arkas Racing in an Astra Sport Hatch, fettled by Tech-Speed (therefore I dub this team "Turk-Speed". Would be cool if they got Rydell in a second car then I could call it "Turk-Swede"...) Finally John George returns in an Integra. "Nowhere to hide" in this car apparently says George. Quite right, it's fairly small; hide-and-seek would be over very quickly.

So, where's the challenges to Halfords? Over to Tim and Ben in the pitlane being interviewed by Ted, who's trying to emulate Jeremy Clarkson's dress sense yet somehow failing. Tim fancies Team RAC, Ben states some obviouslies ("SEAT need to complete the races"). The crowd have come to see Plato win apparently. Halfords up against it with lack of testing for their new car. Ben reckons Turkington for the title, Tim plumps for Gio.

Now a Matt Neal feature, just what we want. Give us more highlights dammit. I'm not paying attention to what he's saying as ITV are using a really annoying interview filing style chopping angles, cutting to B/W and focusing too much on Matt's lips. Matt would put his money on Plato for the title, but reckons Darren could "upset" him (presumably not emotionally). We learn the shocking revelation that Neal and Plato DO NOT exchange Christmas cards. Maybe birthdays then?

"The uncertainties stops here" quoth the Kravitz, "it's all about the racing" as we cut to a montage of what looks like BTCC HAVOC 2006.

First race ready to go.. "Let's take a look at the grid" says Ben. According to him Blanckley's only "mortgaged" his house to go racing, not sold it. One day I'll find out the truth. No mention of the absence of Murray as they run through the grid. Poor guy, it's like he never existed. Ben and Tim speculate Turkington will try "very hard" to win this race. That's good to know...

Cars all lined up ready to go, "We're all set for the first race of the Dunlop MSA British Touring Car Championship" says Ben as the lights go out! Turkington, despite the massive RWD advantage fluffs the start and Plato roars round the outside to lead. Jackson however can master RWD and swoops into 3rd. First biff of the season is on Gio who saves a slide down Paddock Hill, Hughes reverses into the gravel at Druids and fellow MG racerette Leggate is parked up the wrong way against the pit wall, whoops! Turkut was the culprit for that little incident, compounded by a "tank-slapper" from side-to-side says Tim. I thought a tank-slapper was only applicable in motorbike racing.... I blame James Allen for perpetuating that particular phrase. Checking the start replays, Tim thinking it was Plato who hit Giovanardi at Paddock, despite the fact a) Plato had already taken the lead. Remember? You commentated on it LESS THAN A MINUTE AGO and b) Turner it's a clear #12 on the side of that SEAT.

*swoosh* Teleport to lap 5. Not much going on, but a "kerfuffle" going on further back according to Tim. He truly has studied at the school of James Allen Motorsport Commentary. On board with Plato, and this season we have really strange looking floating heads appearing telling viewers who we're on board with. Kinda freaky. I'll have weird dreams about headless BTCC drivers from now on. "Don't be surprised to see the BMWs come back maybe a little bit later". Way to hedge your bets there Tim! Chilton tried a powerslide round Graham Hill bend but he loses out somewhat. Jackson and The OC battle. It's "very difficult to stop these cars when you're braking" muses Tim. AAAAARRGH!

Lap 15 - yellow flag somewhere but we don't find out why. Suddenly jumping to lap 21. Mat Jackson smoking oil or something, I sure hope he doesn't get black/orange flagged. Tim Harvey with his expert knowledge reckons "something has fractured a pipe or something". Thanks for that. Jump - lap 27. Plato has it pretty much bagged and tagged. Jackson still ignoring those black/orange flags, hope he doesn't get penalised for that. Jase wins it, Turk 2nd, Jackson 3rd. Good show from Jones too.

Ad break - "Round One Reaction Next" says the caption. The Kravitz gives us the bad news that Jackson has been excluded from round 1, makes it sound like Old Auntie Thelma has died or something. The Kravitz talks to Jackson and his REALLY SQUARE head. Nice camera placement putting that WHALE logo right by his SQUARE HEAD. Jackson is like a kid who didn't hand in his homework - "didn't see the flag", "radio contact is really bad on this car", pthh. I would give him detention if it weren't for the fears of what would happen should he headbutt me. Do drivers not both seeing flags anymore? Bet the long-suffering hard-working marshalls will be pleased with that.

Louise and Plato chat about how good he is etc. "We don't know where we are" says Plato. More interview faff, cutting into valuable highlights time, grr. "We've got some good points" - as opposed to the EVIL points TOCA sometime give out? Matt Neal goes on about how amazing his team are, "brand-new sheet of paper" etc. His hair's also got curlier during the off season I swear.

The Kravitz says we'll be treated to action from the BTCC's 50 years on TV during this season! Nice touch, although MORE HIGHLIGHTS are always appreaciated. Why not make it a 2 hour show on ITV3? Show that episode of Morse on Monday why not.

We're back in time to 1958. That Quality Street ad music plays, and the first BTCC round takes place. 3.5l Jags and Morris Minors compete, but Sears' Austin takes the win. And... that's it. Less than a minute of archive footage... still nice to see the series acknowledging where its come from.

Race 2 grid... no driver pictures or car icons for these graphics. Curious. Kerry now has a 130d, I thought it was the 120d? Answers on a postcard. "We're all set for the lights to come on".... fairly even start, as they negotiate the dry-dust laid down for the oil Leason's Lexus deposited on the warm-up lap. Which the commentators didn't tell us. What about all those Nick Leason fans desperate to know how he's doing? Did anyone think of them? The fans are "basking" in a "glorious afternoon" according to Ben but I can tell you it was bloody cold depsite the sun. Alright for you in your snazzy commentary box.

Lap 4 - "that would have been an endurance claim on the bank man" says Tim., as four cars nearly run into each other. I feel like submitting an 'endurance' claim to ITV after sitting through Harvey's 'commentary'. Floating head of Giovanardi looks a bit evil. Shedden takes a massive shortcut across the grass, but the Civic isn't a great off-roader so he loses out. Lap 9 - The OC whacks Neal, Jordan's off, "it's all gone crazy" shrieks Ben. Lap 11 - Turner hits The OC but he crawls along Paddock Hill gravel at about 10mph and makes it out. He must be mad, but he looks like an emo kid so guess he'll just go back to his bedroom and write depressing songs about his life until it's out of his system.

Lap 24 - Plato wins again, Turk 2nd again, and Chilton takes 3rd. Jones 6th, Allison 9th and Stockton 10th, good peddling from those guys. Jackson 8th from the back as well. Adverts...

We're back... The Kravitz tells us "We've seen some absolute lunatic driving from the field which is to be encouraged." What? I mean, what? We all like entertaining racing, but driving like morons is going to get someone hurt. Bad Kravitz, bad. Turkington delighted to be on the podium again, thinks he had a quicker car but "couldn't get onto the racing line" apparently. Riiiight. Scott Dennis is sporting new glasses and uses the new BTCC-grid-o-spin-o-meter to choose the reverse grid for round 3.... and it's P7, Gio, on pole. Grid graphics for round 3, and they've got the driver photos and car icons back. Pocklington kinda looks like Jim Rosenthal.

On the grid - Plato reckons he can have a good race. Mat Jackson has 2 Maxim grid girls, lucky guy. Louise runs, runs!, up the grid to speak breathlessly to Neal. She prattles on with Matt for a bit then onto poleman Giovanardi. Incomprehensible interview with Fabrizio through his helmet as we cut to ads again.

Back! "It's... it's time for the 3rd race" excited Louise. Over to Ben and Tim - can VX take the Vectras first win? Adam Jones on the front row as well, but Neal will pose a threat from 3rd. Neal has new highlights in his hair according to Tim - I just thought it was nice curls - but he's still an old professional. Lights go out, and Neal blasts into the lead as Jones slots into 2nd. "We really are gonna have a race" blurts Tim as Gio drops to 4th. George reversing in a cloud of smoke at Surtees, but we don't want to see that says Tim! Lap 2 - safety car is out, for George, but he's back going again, so it comes straight back in again. Neal breaks away from Jones and the 1 safety car lap means the field is even more strung out than before. Hm,those red flashes down the front of the Team Air Cool car makes it look like it's wearing braces.

Lap 5 - Tim gets Turner and Plato confused yet again. Nice to see Chris Hodgetts get a shout out from Ben as Jackson's driver coach. Ben mentions Adam Jones used to race Alonso in karts many moons ago. Not to be outdone Tim reveals he shared a Porsche with Jones just last year. Presumably in a race of sorts, I wouldn't wish it on anyone to share anything with Harvey.

Lap 8 - Giovanardi is "looking more threatening now" - surely not moreso than his floating onboard head thing? That's still scary. Lap 10 - Turkington is embedded in the gravel, Turner is chief suspect. Safety car has been scrambled, so Scott Stringfellow gets his chance to shine once more and the race can clam down, not to mention Tim and Ben's commentary. This seems like a good time to take an ad break...

...and we're back. And WE'VE MISSED THE RESTART, DAMN YOU ITV!! Gio gets past Jones to boot. Plato's floating-head thingy is not too bad, as the field strings out a bit. Tim reckons Plato is "maybe looking at some action in front of him" in an attempt to make the action sound more exciting than it looks. He then extols to Ben the "judicious use of the tap" in touring car racing as Gio attempts to lightly nerf Neal off to get the lead. Lap 20 - Turkut and George have had a tangle, and guess whose fault it was! Jones runs wide and loses a bunchful of places and slips to 6th. Lap 22 - not a particularly great race so far, not even that many stupid comments from Tim! Give us some entertainment perlease!

Lap 25 - Kerry gets his first mention in the race as he gets lapped! Sympathy for Rick as it's his first race and the team have only just built it etc. Yet Halfords are getting praised as their car has only just been finished.. ah well. Lap 26 - Jackson pushing Gio for 2nd on the last lap... but then we cut to a random shot of George, Turkut and Pocklington going into Druids. Right. Anyhoo, Neal takes the win, Gio holds onto 2nd with Jackson just 3rd. Jones gets 6th in the end. Ben congratulates "all the boys" at Halfords (no ladies working at the team? Don't the grid girls even get a pat on the, er, back?)

Tim and Ben award Jackson "Driver of the Day" as we see a traffic jam of the cars heading into the pits. Many more interviews with the top finishers follow, wasting more time that we could have had as earlier race highlights. Grrrr. Driver's standings flash up on the screen and the Kravitz attempts to make some analysis of it ("Neal 2nd? That's not bad actually!") Having failed at that the Kravitz plugs ITV's other, obviously less important, sporting coverage coming up. He promises to see us on April 22nd at Rockingham (can't wait Ted!) and bids farewell, just as it looks like the VXR mechanics are about to reverse a Vectra into him. Cut (nooo! Will the Kravitz survive?) to highlights with music by Muse, Knights of Cydonia (and I didn't even have to look that tune up!)

The Unofficial BTCC Drinking Game™

Don't fret... this will be updated for 2009 in due course! In the meantime, whack on that 2008 Review DVD and make do with the following:

New for 2008! And updated!

Version 2008-1.9 - Silverstone 2008

Rule are simple - simply drink a finger's worth of beer/cider (nothing stronger, especially since the ITV4 coverage is a good 5 hours at least) every time one of the following occurs...

ITV - drink when:

• Anyone says "You're watching BTCC on ITV4"
  
• ITV cut to an ad break during live racing ((i.e. not during a safety car period)
  
• ITV cut back from an ad break and miss the restart of a safety car period
  
• An advert is shown for a BTCC manufacturer or sponsor of a BTCC team
  
• A change of lead is missed by the live cameras
  
• We see a genuine race between the backmarkers when they're not a) being lapped b) crashing into each other or c) crashing into the scenery
  
• ITV cut to an in-car driver interview and the driver can't hear them at all, or is completely muffled by their helmet
  
• The wrong caption is shown for a driver or team member
  
• Tim Harvey is captioned as "1992 BTCC champion". It's been 16 years man!
  
• Janie Omorogbe sounds like she hasn't a clue about touring cars
  
• The race 2 winner blatantly sneaks a peek at the ball he's about to pick for the reverse grid draw
  
• ITV cut to a shot of a driver's wife/fiancée/girlfriend
  
• Ted Kravitz is dressed like a wannabe Top Gear presenter
  
• Upcoming F1 on ITV is plugged (double if accompanied by "Lewis Hamilton" in the same sentence)
  
• Upcoming ITV football is plugged
  
• Upcoming ITV boxing is plugged

Ben Edwards - drink when Ben says:

• "Let's take a look at the grid then..." or "Let's see how they line up..."
  
• "We're all set for..."
  
• "...has really got his work cut out..."
  
• "Away we go...!!!"
  
• "SIDE BY SIDE!!!!"
  
• "...going to be fascinating to see..."

Tim Harvey - drink when Tim:

• Says something that doesn't make sense
  
• Goes "Ooohhhhh!"
  
• Squeaks in a pitch so high it's only audible to dogs
  
• Mentions that he's driving in the Porsche cup
  
• Describes something as a "tank-slapper"
  
• Says something that could easily be interpreted as innuendo e.g. "touching and rubbing up the side" or "coming up from behind"
  
• "Plunges up the inside!"
  
• Says "Here we go...!" when introducing a replay

Drivers - (drink whenever the phrases are used in conjunction with the drivers):

• Giovanardi - "reigning BTCC champion"
  
• Neal - "switched teams"
  
• Turkington - "Ulsterman"
  
• Jackson - "Andy Priaulx's world title winning car from last year"
  
• Chilton - "switched teams"
  
• Plato - "runner up"
  
• Turner - "unlucky"
  
• Bell "front-wheel drive"
  
• Vaulkhard - "Geordie"
  
• Jones - "new SEAT"
  
• Kane - "Porsche racer"
  
• Collard - "returning"
  
• Allison - "GT champion"
  
• Hughes - "MG"
  
• Taylor - any mention aside from grid lineup, crashing out, or wiping off another front bumper
  
• Doyle - "very much a privateer team"
  
• Shedden - "Scottish"
  
• George - "Cornish"
  
• Jordan, M - "father"
  
• Jordan, A - "son"
  
• Kizilirmak - "Turkish", or whenever Ben Edwards pronounces "Erkut" more like "Aiirrrrrrrkut"
  
• Taylor - any mention at all, except crashing or talking through the grid
  

Teams - (Drink whenever the phrases are used in conjunction with the teams):

• Team Halfords - "much improved Civic"
  
• SEAT - "reliability"
  
• VXR - "three car assault"
  
• Team RAC - "WSR"
  
• BMW Dealer Team UK - "new backing from BMW" (even though they don't...)
  
• John Guest Racing - "first father/son team" or similar
  
• Motorbase - "new BMWs"
  
• Robertshaw - "as raced in the World Touring Car Championship" or "Reasonably Priced Car"

Tracks - (Drink whenever the phrases are used in conjunction with the circuits):

• Silverstone - "home of the British Grand Prix"

Misc - drink when:

• The safety car is deployed (drink x2 if it's deployed for no obvious reason; drink yet again if Tim Harvey implies Alan Gow is behind it all and has thrown a "NASCAR yellow")
  
• Two team-mates collide (x3 if it's the Jordans)
  
• Someone stalls at the start
  
• Someone comes into the pits
  
• Dan Eaves is mentioned
  
• James Thompson mentioned
  
• Yvan Muller is mentioned
  
• Team 48 are mentioned
  
• Xero Competition are mentioned
  
• A BTCC driver is directly compared to a current F1 driver
  
• A driver deliberately plugs one of their sponsors
  
• A driver wipes out a sponsor hoarding
  
• A grid-girl winks at the camera
  

Drink responsibly. Alcohol is a bigger killer than motor racing. Honest.