Don't fret... this will be updated for 2009 in due course! In the meantime, whack on that 2008 Review DVD and make do with the following:
New for 2008! And updated!
Version 2008-1.9 - Silverstone 2008
Rule are simple - simply drink a finger's worth of beer/cider (nothing stronger, especially since the ITV4 coverage is a good 5 hours at least) every time one of the following occurs...
ITV - drink when:
- Anyone says "You're watching BTCC on ITV4"
- ITV cut to an ad break during live racing ((i.e. not during a safety car period)
- ITV cut back from an ad break and miss the restart of a safety car period
- An advert is shown for a BTCC manufacturer or sponsor of a BTCC team
- A change of lead is missed by the live cameras
- We see a genuine race between the backmarkers when they're not a) being lapped b) crashing into each other or c) crashing into the scenery
- ITV cut to an in-car driver interview and the driver can't hear them at all, or is completely muffled by their helmet
- The wrong caption is shown for a driver or team member
- Tim Harvey is captioned as "1992 BTCC champion". It's been 16 years man!
- Janie Omorogbe sounds like she hasn't a clue about touring cars
- The race 2 winner blatantly sneaks a peek at the ball he's about to pick for the reverse grid draw
- ITV cut to a shot of a driver's wife/fiancée/girlfriend
- Ted Kravitz is dressed like a wannabe Top Gear presenter
- Upcoming F1 on ITV is plugged (double if accompanied by "Lewis Hamilton" in the same sentence)
- Upcoming ITV football is plugged
- Upcoming ITV boxing is plugged
Ben Edwards - drink when Ben says:
- "Let's take a look at the grid then..." or "Let's see how they line up..."
- "We're all set for..."
- "...has really got his work cut out..."
- "Away we go...!!!"
- "SIDE BY SIDE!!!!"
- "...going to be fascinating to see..."
Tim Harvey - drink when Tim:
- Says something that doesn't make sense
- Goes "Ooohhhhh!"
- Squeaks in a pitch so high it's only audible to dogs
- Mentions that he's driving in the Porsche cup
- Describes something as a "tank-slapper"
- Says something that could easily be interpreted as innuendo e.g. "touching and rubbing up the side" or "coming up from behind"
- "Plunges up the inside!"
- Says "Here we go...!" when introducing a replay
Drivers - (drink whenever the phrases are used in conjunction with the drivers):
- Giovanardi - "reigning BTCC champion"
- Neal - "switched teams"
- Turkington - "Ulsterman"
- Jackson - "Andy Priaulx's world title winning car from last year"
- Chilton - "switched teams"
- Plato - "runner up"
- Turner - "unlucky"
- Bell "front-wheel drive"
- Vaulkhard - "Geordie"
- Jones - "new SEAT"
- Kane - "Porsche racer"
- Collard - "returning"
- Allison - "GT champion"
- Hughes - "MG"
- Taylor - any mention aside from grid lineup, crashing out, or wiping off another front bumper
- Doyle - "very much a privateer team"
- Shedden - "Scottish"
- George - "Cornish"
- Jordan, M - "father"
- Jordan, A - "son"
- Kizilirmak - "Turkish", or whenever Ben Edwards pronounces "Erkut" more like "Aiirrrrrrrkut"
- Taylor - any mention at all, except crashing or talking through the grid
Teams - (Drink whenever the phrases are used in conjunction with the teams):
- Team Halfords - "much improved Civic"
- SEAT - "reliability"
- VXR - "three car assault"
- Team RAC - "WSR"
- BMW Dealer Team UK - "new backing from BMW" (even though they don't...)
- John Guest Racing - "first father/son team" or similar
- Motorbase - "new BMWs"
- Robertshaw - "as raced in the World Touring Car Championship" or "Reasonably Priced Car"
Tracks - (Drink whenever the phrases are used in conjunction with the circuits):
- Silverstone - "home of the British Grand Prix"
Misc - drink when:
- The safety car is deployed (drink x2 if it's deployed for no obvious reason; drink yet again if Tim Harvey implies Alan Gow is behind it all and has thrown a "NASCAR yellow")
- Two team-mates collide (x3 if it's the Jordans)
- Someone stalls at the start
- Someone comes into the pits
- Dan Eaves is mentioned
- James Thompson mentioned
- Yvan Muller is mentioned
- Team 48 are mentioned
- Xero Competition are mentioned
- A BTCC driver is directly compared to a current F1 driver
- A driver deliberately plugs one of their sponsors
- A driver wipes out a sponsor hoarding
- A grid-girl winks at the camera
Drink responsibly. Alcohol is a bigger killer than motor racing. Honest.
